Weekly Recap & Thoughts on Intention

The third week of classes is complete, and I must note that it has been an exceptionally restful week. I did not compete at this week's track meet, which allowed me to have a full weekend to reset. I came down with some sickness mid-week from the sudden cold temperature drop. I struggled through classes with a foggy brain and even missed two days of practice until I felt up-to-speed. Being absent from commitments never fails to fill me with guilt, but I have to remind myself that taking care of my physical health is a display of commitment- a commitment to listen to my personal needs in hopes that it will make me a better team contributor. Sickness always makes me conscious of the health that we take for granted- physical, mental, and emotional. Forced rest is not desirable, but I often find that God knows when it is needed most. 

Here is this week in review (January 23-29):

Monday: Roommate's birthday! Also began my first shift at a new campus job as a writing tutor

Tuesday: Helped advertise our club Catholic Cardinals at the campus Student Involvement Fair

Wednesday: Worship music while cleaning

Thursday: Deuteronomy 11-12

Friday: Deuteronomy 13-15 

Saturday:

Sunday: Catholic Cardinals brunch, Mass, and supported a fellow club member at her conference wrestling tournament

Concepts/vocabulary (either researched topics or new terms): Benediction, First Friday/First Saturday (I am hoping to begin one of these devotions soon), ascetism, nonmonastic, epistle, corporeal 

I cannot remember where I first encountered this idea, but it has been an integral part of my mindset ever since. Each day, I try to recall one thing I did for myself, for another, and for God. This practice keeps me grounded in a habit of thinking and doing for greater purpose than myself. It balances an aspect of self-care ("what did I do for myself today?") with service ("what did I do for another?") and spirituality ("what did I do for God?"). Together, I think of this as my psychological trinity; I cannot be of service to myself without also caring for others and God. Each branch is a unique favor, but the culmination of all three must co-exist. Caring for others is an intentional act. As humans, psychology shows us that it is our nature to be egocentric from adolescence. Piaget's theory suggests that we evolve beyond our preschool-age egocentrism as a result of nurturing. In essence, moral development is not nature, but an intentional act resulting from greater abstract cognition. We make moral choices not because it is our genetic disposition, but rather through the social consciousness that makes us desire to be righteous. 

In my reading from The Holy Longing this week, Rolheiser writes "what Jesus wants from us is not admiration, but imitation". Our God repeatedly reminds us that He does not exist to be praised; we praise Him to glorify his goodness on Earth so that the kingdom can expand its outreach. That is our call in discipleship. But imitating Jesus is an intentional act; we, unfortunately, are not programmed to think and behave as Christ in our flesh form. Each act of devotion must be intentional.

I also relate intentionality to purpose. As a student, the most frequent thought in my mind is typically "what is the purpose of this assignment?". Essentially, I am asking myself, "what am I intended to learn from this?" or even "why should I care?". In high school, I struggled to find intention in most of my work. It often felt like busy work, especially in classes that were graduation requirements or did not particularly enhance my future concentration of study. It felt like there was no intention behind them... other than a grade. At my competitive high school, grades were an extensive motivator and focus for students. Father Ryan so perfectly brought up this happening in today's homily when he said that we are "trying to be smart to impress the world". In our hobbies, we are also trying to be top/best/winner to impress our family/friends/coaches/community. Why are we striving so hard to impress a temporary audience? Why is it our intention to impress and not to be pleasurable, fulfilling, or charitable? 

In our gratitude and tithing, is our intention to be charitable or to impress? If our offering is simply to satisfy the glaring eyes at church, then our contribution is not intentional for God. It is a conscious act to be intentional because it also involves being present- which is a depleting skill in our fast-paced, efficiency-focused world; however, intentionality builds stronger relationships because it adds the necessary "why?" to what we do. It gives us a purpose beyond the grade, pay, or trophy. 

"Give generously to them and do so without a grudging heart; then

because of this the Lord your God will bless you in

all your work and in everything you put your hand to." 

Deuteronomy 15:10

If we give money to a neighbor with the intention to guide them to self-sufficiency, we have done a deed greater than ourselves. Intentionality averts much of the "grudging heart" of which Moses warns Israel. With intention, we do not feel obligated to give, thereby avoiding the mindset that we are depleting our personal assets (an egocentric perspective that causes us to acquire this nagging, resentful heart). 

In culmination, my intention with this post was to share how I am seeing purpose arise in areas that were becoming mundane. I am trying to look on these areas with intention and walk into environments thinking of the uncommon ways that they are preparing me for God's plan that I cannot see. It is difficult to give and take without knowing the full picture, but if we are intentional to make choices with good reason, all will settle into its righteous place.